Happy CNY 2015

Happy CNY
Happy goat year heee
Well it's been a long time I post something here hahaha XD
Anyway just some random post as I'm quite bored now
Today is chor 3 of CNY
Yesterday morning already came back to KL as my mom has work
Planned to find my panda paktor xia when I was going to Ipoh
Unfortunately not enough time and my parents weren't willing to fetch me so... Cannot see my panda T^T
Anyway get to see her few more days so... TAHANNN XD
Well this year's angpau macam not that much
Reducing every year ka huhuhu T.T

Anyway nothing much
Once again Happy CNY to everyone
2015 be good to me and panda heeee <3
Gong hei fat choi
羊年快乐
XD

#ComicFiesta2014

O hisashiburi desu
Haha should have posted this long time ago
But I was so lazy and haven't tidy up the pics in my phone XD
But my phone is running low on memory have to tidy now liao
16gb is never enough *flips table*

So I went to Comic Fiesta (CF) last year

My first time to CF

And also my first time trying cosplay

Cosplaying with my bunch of BFF(s), best memory ever teehee

Kuroko No Basket Genderbend

I was the leader, Akashi Seijuro

From the left:

YC > Murasakibara

Jean > Kuroko

Leannyan > Kise

Rui > Midorima

Well CF was so crowded, and it was a bit hot as we were wearing so many layers and the damn wig was so heavy and long and hot.

Mine was 80 cm QAQ

Wonder how those with such long hair tahan and maintain their hair

pei fu pei fu XD

As Rui said we were like pandas, many people approached us and asked for photography

Haha never experience this much attention before, kinda happy XD

Although it was tiring and hot, but I really had so much fun

CF 2015 I might wanna go and cosplay too teehee

And and and

So glad to drag my panda along too heeee

Leng zai Haru from Free!

Ironman woots

Leng lui Asuna from SAO

2014 was awesome, may 2015 will be as wonderful as 2014 too heeee

Wanna be with panda forever and all my best friends, pudding and selfie gang, may our friendship lasts forever.

That's all hehe ciaoooo

Finals Sem 2

Time do flies
And now it's already time for finals for semester 2
Starting on next Monday, until 4th of November
Well my internals are quite okay this sem
Fund maths is still shitty tho
I still have to take additional semester anyway

All the best ba :D

Gotta go study
Ciao~

BFF

I can't sleep

I'm tired but I can't sleep

Things are still going on in my brain 

And I decided to type it out

To my dearest best friend, no offense, I'm just voicing out

You're my best friend, and I meant forever

Please don't ever say stuffs weren't like before, nothing will change 

I cared for you, I still do

But tbh once in awhile, it doesn't have to be me approaching you first

I actually hope you can approach me first 

At least that will make me feel you care for me too

Sometimes I stopped myself from caring 

Cuz your cold responses, made me feel like am I annoying? Should I stop what I was doing?

I really thought you stopped caring 

And when you're not okay, please just be honest with me, I suck at reading people, I'm not really sensible, but I will try my best to do so 

Bear in mind, you will never be replaced, you're my soulmate for life, and I hope I'm still your best friend, I hope I'm not getting replaced 

I was once give up on believing best friends are forever, but you made me believe that again, and I wanna continue believing it

And I'll admit, when I see your selfies with your new friends, I do get jealous, I just don't wanna admit it, but I do

I'm a really complicated person, which is troublesome and sensitive, thanks for accepting for who I am

I'm glad I met you, I'm glad you actually cared for me that much, I honestly didn't expect that 

Our friendship will never end, and it's still counting on, happy 3 years anniversary best bud ❤️

It's a bit 老土 to say so but still

Best friends forever ❤️

Stress

During 1st semester, I thought that was already really stressful
Until I came to 2nd semester, now I know 1st semester was actually really relaxing already
And I know whats more coming is during degree, the so called stress we're having now is nothing compared to degree

I failed chemistry and resulting having to take an additional semester
This was already stress enough for me cuz I still can't let it go
Especially when I see other of my friends are able to prepare to move onto university already
While I was still in college, and next year I really cannot imagine what it will be like
Today they all handed up their application form, while here I was, emo and overthinking cuz I can't apply yet
Okay this is getting a bit off track
Come back come back haha

For the 1st time, I'm actually feeling English is hard and really stressful
Well most of it is cuz Monash only accepts with a minimum average mark of 65% for both semesters
Plus, English really has quite an amount of important assignments
The research project report and the presentation, which the marks allocated are quite high
Then the contemporary writing which worth 20% itself
1st semester's English was way much easier than now
Now we have so many texts and movie to remember
Two movies 42 and Rabbit-proof Fence, which movies are still quite okay to me
Then novel The Kite Runner which I was still at chapter 2, such a boring novel =3=
Then Half The Sky lagi teruk cuz all it's talking about is human trafficking, prostitutes, sex etc
Tbh I'm not even interested to read it but I got no other choice
Gotta start reading it soon =3=
Plus, our lecturer loves presentation
I'm starting to feel so numb and tired of it already
And some of our group members aren't even helpful
MIA whenever they feel like it
Speechless

Then bio currently no more assignments THANK GOD
But I'm still kind of stressed cuz I'm scared I can't manage it
For the last topic test I only scored 65% /3\
Not good enough ah
Bio is important for me ugh

Then ICT
I'm sort of regretting why did I even take it
I'm not even touching stuffs about IT LOL
I'm thinking should I have retook chemistry unit 1 instead
But then I scared I'll fail it again
Ugh why am I so weak :(
Left one major assignment: programming
Can't even download VB how to program jek ugh

Finals are coming soon
One more month approximately
Gambateh ba

Weakness

Had a great day today

Fulfilled my promise that I'll bring YC and Xue Ning to Pavilion

Too bad Yan2 can't go with us tho

And I didn't tell my mom that I sleptover at my laopo's house

She wouldn't let, but dad and mom are both at Singapore

Why don't I sleep with my laopo then bwahaha XD 

Paktor more than 24 hours hahaha ❤️

So yea drove to pavilion

My first time driving to KL

Quite a chaotic area @@

Welcome to KL peeps

Well I'm really bad at directions

So all I'm relying on is Waze

Going back that time, something major happened 

I was following Waze blindly

I didn't realize there was a double line

I didn't realize there was police

Well I went the wrong way, but I don't wanna go Smart tunnel which is the wrong way, some more have to pay toll

So I just cut to the left hand side lane, without realizing there's this double line 

Who usually cares about that dumbass line anyways =w=

Then kena tepi 

My first time weih, I was so fcking nervous

I can't think properly

All I can do is panic and thinking what I've done wrong 

Well the policeman keep mentioning "sayang la P license kena saman"

Obviously he was waiting for me to ask for his help -.-

I have to do this I got no choice

If not I have to retake the whole exam

Tbh I'm against bribery 

If I'm not a P license driver 

I would have just tell him "encik nk saman cepat saman je"

I don't mind paying 300 bucks

Ik it's my bad for crossing the double line as laws are laws 

Never mind, one more year then sayonara P license 

Feel like I was such a loser tho

I was actually so afraid that I'll lose my license, that I was about to cry

So lakseh weih -.-

But my laopo was so calm, asking me to chill and telling me it'll be okay 

YC was already preparing *cough*

Lol I was trembling in fear, almost like when I was having Mottephobia but well it wasn't that serious la

My biggest weakness is to be afraid of anything unexpected

I can't handle them calmly

Why am I so weak..

2nd datoutie in my life 

Love you guys thanks for bearing with my temper, and how useless I am

Insecurity

I always have this feeling of insecure
Like sometimes I will even feel so insecure, that my chest is like irregular heartbeat rate
And I'll be kinda nervous dk for what
I can't sit still, then I'll move my attention to my phone, probably 2048 or stuffs that need me to think or need lots of my attention

I'm always afraid of being alone
Always afraid of the ones I cared might leave me one day
Or thought that I'm annoying or troublesome etc /3\
I still can remember during primary school, my one and only close friend I have, I trusted the most
She left me
During standard 4 and 5, I was kind of in a rebellion state I guess
I don't have the mood to study at all, although I was in the 1st class aka the best class
Everyone was such a smarty pants
I got the last place in class daebak eh
Then of course my ranking was so bad that I dropped from the 1st class to the 2nd class during standard 6
Well I won't think it's a really bad thing tho
In the 1st class, I realized you won't have any true friends, all everyone cared was only their grades, their rankings and stuffs
I thought my best friend wasn't like that but I was wrong apparently
She told me different class never mind, cuz she'll wait for me and recess or hangout with me like we used to
She said we are best friends forever so no worries cuz nothing will change
I was so touched cuz I thought it was real
But erm no, she didn't wait for me, she went off to recess with her other friends
Which left me, the stupid one who believed her, waited for her outside her class almost everyday
Luckily my cousin dragged me with her
Then I was never alone, to have my CTM <3

Then secondary school, when my Shun Shun transferred, darn I was so sad I cried for so long
When form 3 starts, I didn't even know where I belonged to, cuz I usually hangout with her although when form 2 we weren't in the same class
Jean said I was like a lost puppy hahaha
Well then thanks for adopting me with you guys ah Pudding <3
#PuddingFamlilyForever #LongLivePudding

Then now college
1st day of college during orientation well I was kind of lost without Pudding them la
But I was lucky that I met Joey and Xue Ning them
The 1st program of the 1st day of orientation haven't even started yet
I've already made a new friend, Joey
Then coincidentally my sem 1's timetable every single subject I was in the same class with Xue Ning
And my luck was so good that I met YC, exactly my kind, the same kind of people DAEBAK XD
Most importantly, I met my beloved laopo
My one decision leads to quite a big impact ah
Imagine if I didn't drop maths and switch to fund maths, then maybe I wouldn't have got so close with her
Maybe only hi-bye friends?
Fate brought us together hahaha <3

Sem 2 is actually kind of suckish compared to sem 1
I have to spend most of my breaks alone
I have to bear with the stress of going to sem 3 alone
Like I said I can't handle myself to be alone
Maybe I am insecure in this way haha
But again, luckily I met my laopo, who really knows me quite well, always there for me, and of course the one who I will turn around and run to when I really am insecure
Cuz I know she will be there for me
And she is my padlock to my insecurity

I was trying so hard to move on from the fear of being alone
But now it's already August, 2014 is ending so soon in the blink of an eye
And 2015, Idk what should I feel about it
I'm not happy tbh
Cuz sem 3 I'll be all on my own, without my #selfie gang
Without my laopo
Idk how should I survive haha

Well if I'm more mature then maybe I won't be afraid at all of these stupid stuffs
But yea I'm still immature I guess

Moving on from your fear is hard..