1 take gaodim

And so..

I PASSED!

44/50

Kk that's all

Omendeto to myself :3

Undang

Yosh
Going for undang exam tomorrow
Gonna cry
Scared that I'll fail
Cuz.. I didn't really read it..
I mean I did read, but its erm..
The 1st week after the kursus, I was so confident and so ready..
I knew myself so well that I knew I will feel bored if I don't quickly gaodim this
So I wanted to take the exam at the 1st week
But then my parents say what "give yourself more time to study more lah" blah blah blah -.-
Therefore delayed till today zzz
Wish me luck?
42/50 already I'll be damn happy TwT

Okay
I've got the mood to type
Idk were you talking about
Only read what you posted
The 1st thing I'm gonna say is I'm sorry..
My temper is so bad that I don't think many of my friends can even stand me..
You always are the victim
And I can felt that there's like an invisible wall between us or what
Whatever I tried to do, it's like, wrong timing I guess?
Maybe it's my fault for picking the wrong time?
But my timing is bad, real bad, gomen..
I tried to get closer
But sometimes you just ignored or responses coldly
And that made me don't know what to do anymore
No choice but burry myself in my own world lah >> K-On
*K-On best lah TwT*
Lol come back come back XD
The fact I enjoyed watching K-On is like..
I saw our shadows on them..
Yui, Mio, Ritsu, Mugi..
Really, I mentioned this a lot right? xP
Because I mean it..

Anyways, just want you to know that you're my best buddy, my best friend, my darling.. Etc XD
Seriously, I mean it :)
Sorry for making you feel lonely ya (*☻-☻*)
I'll try to notice and understand your feelings more

Aigo
Gotta study
Gambateh CYY TT TT

Power

Just posting what I wrote
English essay from teacher
Power :3

 Everyone desires power: the power to be well-known by the world, the power to protect our loved ones, the power to be recognized. I was once an ordinary fat boy, ordinary looking, just plain and simply ordinary. I do not really have friends, this was mostly because my shy and timid personality, I do not have the courage to walk out of my world, people will sure tease me and reject me, I was fat and boring. She was my only friend, she won't tease me, in the other way round, she had always been protecting me from being bullied and teased by others. Unwittingly, I had fell in love in her.

      I desired power, I wanted to be recognized by everyone, I wanted to be good looking and be loved by everyone, I wanted to have the power to at least protect myself from being bullied. Most importantly, I wanted to protect her, I don't want to be protected by her anymore. But when I take a look at myself, even I wanted to tease myself, fat, chubby, I can't even score well in exam.

      On one night, while I was doing revisions in my room, I heard on radio telling about that night will be having shooting star flying across the sky. Coincidently, my housing area will be able to get to see it. And I thought to myself, this was definitely a chance given to me to make a wish. Rumors said that if you make a wish on a shooting star, your wishes will surely come true. I rushed to the window, waited patiently for the arrival of the legendary shooting star.

      All of the patience I gave was worth it, finally, the shooting star came. I closed my eyes, and made a wish sincerely. I wished that I have the power to protect her, to be well-known, to be full of confident in myself. That way at least I can stop being teased and bullied by everyone, that way at least I can stop being a useless coward. After the shooting star had gone with my wishes on it, I sighed hopelessly. I then prepared to go to bed.

      My life has changed since that day. It was a fine afternoon after my school was over. I was walking home, it was like my daily routine to walk home alone. The weather was a bit weird, but I didn't noticed that as my mind was fully occupied by the project given by teacher. The sky suddenly darken it's colour, it was still sunny on the previous minute, but gloomy in the next minute. Suddenly, it started to rain, it was raining cats and dogs. I had no choice but to run. As I was about to reach the nearest bus stop, I felt like I was being hit by some sort of electric, was it the thunder? I felt like I was burning, it was so hard to breathe, all I saw was pitch black, and I lost my consciousness.

      I felt a strong light was scorching into my closed eye lids. I opened my eyes unwillingly due to the sleepiness was still in my head, wandering. Dad was the first person I saw, he seemed worried, and then stunned. I turned my head around and I saw mom. She looked amazed, too. Her weird and happy look on her face was like she met some sort of popular celebrity. What was wrong with my face? I touched my face to ensure that I was still normal. A pair of eyes, a nose with two nostrils, my mouth and a single-sided dimple when I smiled and even when I talked......

      Everything was normal, what was wrong with those looks on their faces? I pinched my cheek, and finally I found something weird: where was my chubby cheek? And where was my big, round tummy? I stared at my parents, hoping they will tell me what was wrong with me. "Son...... You......" Finally dad spoke and his voice broke the silence state. "You looked amazing! You looked handsome!" Mom shouted excitedly, just like how she cheered while she saw David Beckham on television.

      The nurse passed by gave a sharp glare to mom, asking her to lower her voice down. Mom apologized by whispering and then came back to where she left off. She pinched my cheek and I could see her eyes were sparkling in excitement. That really was my mom. " I think I shall call the doctor up." Dad left after he had realized what he should have did. The doctor came in, did some simple body check for me. I was healthy, nothing went wrong. I was relieved. We thanked the doctor, completed the troublesome procedure for me to check out from hospital, finally we headed home. Mom told me I was stroke by thunder, even the doctor said it was a miracle that I was still alive. I should have already died with that direct hit from the thunder. Mom even told me that after the emergency operation, when mom first saw me, she thought the doctor gave me a plastic surgery.

      Finally, I was home.  I went to my room to get some rest. I saw myself in the mirror, I had changed a lot. This was the look that I had been desiring for. Was the wish on the shooting star had been granted? The thunder that hit me, it changed me into every girls' dreamy prince, I stared at myself in the mirror for quite a time, my appearance didn't literally changed, it was just I had turned skinnier and more attractive. I felt a bit different too. The way I was feeling, it was like I had so much of confident in myself that I never had felt before. I felt that there was also a darker side of me inside my heart now, I felt wild, I felt like I wanted to take control of every girls' heart, to make them fall for me, especially to make her mine......

      I didn't take a long break, I went to school on the next day. When I stepped into my class, the whole class was staring at me, just like what I had expected.  After a long pause, the girls surrounded me, asking me questions, giving me attentions that I never had before. I was so delighted, this is what I had been wanting, I finally had the power to be recognized and to be liked by others.

      I had won thousands of girls' heart over, except her...... I was smart in studies, sporty, handsome and every girls' dreamy prince charming. But still, she treated me liked she used to, just like her old pal. I had been expecting some different treatments from her, I was the popular kid in the school for now. I had the power to be well-known by everyone, I had the power to protect myself from being bullied, I had the power to protect her, I had the power to give her happiness. I just don't understand why she just won't fall for me. I had tried to date other girls , so that I could fall in love with other girls. Since she was no longer available, she belonged to someone else, Edward.

      She told me that I had been acting like a jerk lately, I dated three girls at the same time, toying with their feelings, she said I had changed a lot, not just physically but mentally too. But she just wouldn't know that all I did was just to forget the feeling I had for her. We don't hangout like we used to anymore. She hated me. But I cannot hold back my feelings that I had for her anymore, I wanted to let her know how much I love her.

      I went to her house recklessly, without letting her know I was coming. She looked surprised to see me. Awkwardly, she invited me in, her parents weren't around, just her and I. Before she could open her mouth to ask why, I started the conversation first. I took a deep breath, and confessed everything to her, I loved her, I wanted her. She should be mine instead of that silly Edward's. She was puzzled for a second, and she rejected me coldly. She claimed that I should have known that she was dating Edward, she preferred that we should stay friends, just like we used to.

      My heart was breaking into pieces, it was aching, I can't feel anything except a sudden anger. An anger that I cannot control, I don't feel like myself anymore. I clenched my fist tightly. I grabbed her arm and pushed her onto the sofa. I was on top of her, she tried to look away, I forcefully placed my lips on hers. She looked into my eyes, she was scared of me, I was a monster. It wasn't me who controlled the actions before, it really wasn't me!

      She gave a tight slap on my face, and that slap brought me back to my self-consciousness. I stood up, apologized and ran out of her house. What have I done? How can I do that to a girl I loved? I was a monster. I could never face her again, she would never forgive me. Even myself could never forgive myself too.

      "Tic tok tic tok......" The ticking sound of the clock in my room brought me back to reality from my flashbacks. I am sitting in the darkness, praying that god will take away this power. I am now powerful, also I am pitiful, I will just let myself to be swallowed into the darkness, leaving nothing behind.

(1627 words)

Nyahaha awesome #perasan

3 pages long x3

Bastard

Bastard
A bunch of bastards
Just F off my life dude
You don't know what she really is
Stop standing at her side
Sounded like supporting her that much, why don't you just move your silly ass and live with her?
I'll see how you can tahan her, like you said, macam very easy
Sei macam yes -.-

What's wrong with what my friend said?
I said its my junior friend who told me
Then ask byk2 about how I be friends with those who's
younger/older than me
Not literally asking actually, more like interrogating a criminal
You got problem with that?
You were not the same with me while you're in high school
We're totally different
No offense, I do wonder how can your friends used to manage to stand you
Damn "small gas"
Change topic apparently purposely when you're losing
And then shoot back ppl recklessly
F U

Lesson learnt
I won't tell you ANYTHING next time
I'll just keep everything to myself
Just let me resist till the limit, then explode and die
Can't you shut the F up, and at least let me release my anger?
What's so hard with that?

And damn you
I only said what my friend said
What's wrong if its really fake?
Does it harm you?
What you want me to do?
Go straight to my friend and ask "ei was that a lie? Were you making all the stories up?"
No wonder you got less friend -.-
And I won't forget that
You were the one who made me air-Asia-ed Rui
I ask then no proper answer was given
Only choice was to ask my dad
Ofc dad said ok
But until I decided, you suddenly say cannot
B*tch
Force me to tell Rui in the late night that I cannot make it
IN FRONT OF EVERYONE WITH YOUR STUPID LOGICS WHICH DOESN'T MAKE SENSE
What can I say?

Thanks for making everyone hate me
Thanks for making everyone losing faith in me

FYI
I am me, CYY, totally different from you
Maybe you don't treat your friends like I do
But that's my way, that's my logic, that's my principle
As for me friends are the most important stuffs which I care the most
I cannot live without friends
-.- t

From now onwards
I won't argue with you
I'll just stay quiet
I'll just shut the F up
I won't bother anymore
You won't listen anyways
Do as you like
Fed up.

Complicated

Felt complicated right now
Not really beh song
But felt a bit like kena cheated
That nobody-tells-me-feeling
Argh
So mafan
I rather choose to love myself now
Better be perasan to only love myself
Mafan mafan mafan

Felt like I'm annoying too
Better F off CYY
Grr..

Undang kursus

Went for undang kursus today
Woke up at 6:30
Mr Lai came and fetched at 7:45
Woke up that early because I wanted a cup of hot Teh Tarik as part of my breakfast, so.. Yea :p
It was kinda far xia, at Ulu Langat >.<
Didn't knew it was that far.. I mean a bit far la..
Reached there half an hour earlier
Went with my beloved Leanne ❤

Well the first guy who came in and taught us de was not bad..
At least not that boring la..
Got funny videos to watch some more LOL XD
Practically he looks like a Chinese, but spoke like a Malay in BM
So really no idea what race he was @w@

Then we had 1 hour of "recess"
Epic dude
There were 1 Malay stall land 1 Chinese stall
They were grabbing customers as hard as they could
I mean, they stood outside their stall and "inviting" us
A bit terrified xia xP
Macam war xia leh lol *no offense*
As I wasn't sure which 1 to go
Then 1 Chinese lady ask me to go to their stall, Chinese should makan Chinese food, she said..
Lol la -w-
And so I did and had my fried rice
Not bad, quite yummy xia :3

Carry on, the 2nd session of kursus
Switched teacher-guy with the 2nd class
This time it was a Malay guy
Looks strict and serious
I was right, no joke no laugh this time
BORING /yawn
Leanne was daydreaming all the way
I was drawing all the way
Well, almost all the way la..
I still did listened a few :p

So I spent 1/4 of my day with my beloved, Leanne XD
Dating vor :D
Haha LOL
Hope I can pass with only 1 try lah
Gonna start reading it -w- v

Once again, to Rui..
Sorry for "air-asia-ed" you last time
Saw those who came alone..
And I thought of you..
Feel so sorry..
And kinda hate myself *unforgivable* /...\

Kk that's all
Lame post though XD

I'm so AWESOME *perasan* XD

Hohoho
I'm so awesome
*so perasan* XD
Drew this free hand, not sketching de~~
saw from 學海~

hehehe wa suka <3

And then this one was added effect

Nice leh~~

macam 被黑暗吞噬的感覺 x3

Lalala~~ XD