BFF

I can't sleep

I'm tired but I can't sleep

Things are still going on in my brain 

And I decided to type it out

To my dearest best friend, no offense, I'm just voicing out

You're my best friend, and I meant forever

Please don't ever say stuffs weren't like before, nothing will change 

I cared for you, I still do

But tbh once in awhile, it doesn't have to be me approaching you first

I actually hope you can approach me first 

At least that will make me feel you care for me too

Sometimes I stopped myself from caring 

Cuz your cold responses, made me feel like am I annoying? Should I stop what I was doing?

I really thought you stopped caring 

And when you're not okay, please just be honest with me, I suck at reading people, I'm not really sensible, but I will try my best to do so 

Bear in mind, you will never be replaced, you're my soulmate for life, and I hope I'm still your best friend, I hope I'm not getting replaced 

I was once give up on believing best friends are forever, but you made me believe that again, and I wanna continue believing it

And I'll admit, when I see your selfies with your new friends, I do get jealous, I just don't wanna admit it, but I do

I'm a really complicated person, which is troublesome and sensitive, thanks for accepting for who I am

I'm glad I met you, I'm glad you actually cared for me that much, I honestly didn't expect that 

Our friendship will never end, and it's still counting on, happy 3 years anniversary best bud ❤️

It's a bit 老土 to say so but still

Best friends forever ❤️

Stress

During 1st semester, I thought that was already really stressful
Until I came to 2nd semester, now I know 1st semester was actually really relaxing already
And I know whats more coming is during degree, the so called stress we're having now is nothing compared to degree

I failed chemistry and resulting having to take an additional semester
This was already stress enough for me cuz I still can't let it go
Especially when I see other of my friends are able to prepare to move onto university already
While I was still in college, and next year I really cannot imagine what it will be like
Today they all handed up their application form, while here I was, emo and overthinking cuz I can't apply yet
Okay this is getting a bit off track
Come back come back haha

For the 1st time, I'm actually feeling English is hard and really stressful
Well most of it is cuz Monash only accepts with a minimum average mark of 65% for both semesters
Plus, English really has quite an amount of important assignments
The research project report and the presentation, which the marks allocated are quite high
Then the contemporary writing which worth 20% itself
1st semester's English was way much easier than now
Now we have so many texts and movie to remember
Two movies 42 and Rabbit-proof Fence, which movies are still quite okay to me
Then novel The Kite Runner which I was still at chapter 2, such a boring novel =3=
Then Half The Sky lagi teruk cuz all it's talking about is human trafficking, prostitutes, sex etc
Tbh I'm not even interested to read it but I got no other choice
Gotta start reading it soon =3=
Plus, our lecturer loves presentation
I'm starting to feel so numb and tired of it already
And some of our group members aren't even helpful
MIA whenever they feel like it
Speechless

Then bio currently no more assignments THANK GOD
But I'm still kind of stressed cuz I'm scared I can't manage it
For the last topic test I only scored 65% /3\
Not good enough ah
Bio is important for me ugh

Then ICT
I'm sort of regretting why did I even take it
I'm not even touching stuffs about IT LOL
I'm thinking should I have retook chemistry unit 1 instead
But then I scared I'll fail it again
Ugh why am I so weak :(
Left one major assignment: programming
Can't even download VB how to program jek ugh

Finals are coming soon
One more month approximately
Gambateh ba

Weakness

Had a great day today

Fulfilled my promise that I'll bring YC and Xue Ning to Pavilion

Too bad Yan2 can't go with us tho

And I didn't tell my mom that I sleptover at my laopo's house

She wouldn't let, but dad and mom are both at Singapore

Why don't I sleep with my laopo then bwahaha XD 

Paktor more than 24 hours hahaha ❤️

So yea drove to pavilion

My first time driving to KL

Quite a chaotic area @@

Welcome to KL peeps

Well I'm really bad at directions

So all I'm relying on is Waze

Going back that time, something major happened 

I was following Waze blindly

I didn't realize there was a double line

I didn't realize there was police

Well I went the wrong way, but I don't wanna go Smart tunnel which is the wrong way, some more have to pay toll

So I just cut to the left hand side lane, without realizing there's this double line 

Who usually cares about that dumbass line anyways =w=

Then kena tepi 

My first time weih, I was so fcking nervous

I can't think properly

All I can do is panic and thinking what I've done wrong 

Well the policeman keep mentioning "sayang la P license kena saman"

Obviously he was waiting for me to ask for his help -.-

I have to do this I got no choice

If not I have to retake the whole exam

Tbh I'm against bribery 

If I'm not a P license driver 

I would have just tell him "encik nk saman cepat saman je"

I don't mind paying 300 bucks

Ik it's my bad for crossing the double line as laws are laws 

Never mind, one more year then sayonara P license 

Feel like I was such a loser tho

I was actually so afraid that I'll lose my license, that I was about to cry

So lakseh weih -.-

But my laopo was so calm, asking me to chill and telling me it'll be okay 

YC was already preparing *cough*

Lol I was trembling in fear, almost like when I was having Mottephobia but well it wasn't that serious la

My biggest weakness is to be afraid of anything unexpected

I can't handle them calmly

Why am I so weak..

2nd datoutie in my life 

Love you guys thanks for bearing with my temper, and how useless I am