Insecurity

I always have this feeling of insecure
Like sometimes I will even feel so insecure, that my chest is like irregular heartbeat rate
And I'll be kinda nervous dk for what
I can't sit still, then I'll move my attention to my phone, probably 2048 or stuffs that need me to think or need lots of my attention

I'm always afraid of being alone
Always afraid of the ones I cared might leave me one day
Or thought that I'm annoying or troublesome etc /3\
I still can remember during primary school, my one and only close friend I have, I trusted the most
She left me
During standard 4 and 5, I was kind of in a rebellion state I guess
I don't have the mood to study at all, although I was in the 1st class aka the best class
Everyone was such a smarty pants
I got the last place in class daebak eh
Then of course my ranking was so bad that I dropped from the 1st class to the 2nd class during standard 6
Well I won't think it's a really bad thing tho
In the 1st class, I realized you won't have any true friends, all everyone cared was only their grades, their rankings and stuffs
I thought my best friend wasn't like that but I was wrong apparently
She told me different class never mind, cuz she'll wait for me and recess or hangout with me like we used to
She said we are best friends forever so no worries cuz nothing will change
I was so touched cuz I thought it was real
But erm no, she didn't wait for me, she went off to recess with her other friends
Which left me, the stupid one who believed her, waited for her outside her class almost everyday
Luckily my cousin dragged me with her
Then I was never alone, to have my CTM <3

Then secondary school, when my Shun Shun transferred, darn I was so sad I cried for so long
When form 3 starts, I didn't even know where I belonged to, cuz I usually hangout with her although when form 2 we weren't in the same class
Jean said I was like a lost puppy hahaha
Well then thanks for adopting me with you guys ah Pudding <3
#PuddingFamlilyForever #LongLivePudding

Then now college
1st day of college during orientation well I was kind of lost without Pudding them la
But I was lucky that I met Joey and Xue Ning them
The 1st program of the 1st day of orientation haven't even started yet
I've already made a new friend, Joey
Then coincidentally my sem 1's timetable every single subject I was in the same class with Xue Ning
And my luck was so good that I met YC, exactly my kind, the same kind of people DAEBAK XD
Most importantly, I met my beloved laopo
My one decision leads to quite a big impact ah
Imagine if I didn't drop maths and switch to fund maths, then maybe I wouldn't have got so close with her
Maybe only hi-bye friends?
Fate brought us together hahaha <3

Sem 2 is actually kind of suckish compared to sem 1
I have to spend most of my breaks alone
I have to bear with the stress of going to sem 3 alone
Like I said I can't handle myself to be alone
Maybe I am insecure in this way haha
But again, luckily I met my laopo, who really knows me quite well, always there for me, and of course the one who I will turn around and run to when I really am insecure
Cuz I know she will be there for me
And she is my padlock to my insecurity

I was trying so hard to move on from the fear of being alone
But now it's already August, 2014 is ending so soon in the blink of an eye
And 2015, Idk what should I feel about it
I'm not happy tbh
Cuz sem 3 I'll be all on my own, without my #selfie gang
Without my laopo
Idk how should I survive haha

Well if I'm more mature then maybe I won't be afraid at all of these stupid stuffs
But yea I'm still immature I guess

Moving on from your fear is hard..

Driving Issues

I'm really a P driver 

My dad taught me lots of stuffs about cars 

But he missed out one 

How to pump air for tyre 

Forgotten to check silver's tyre

For like months

It was supposed to be 31

But then it actually left 20 

And so went to pump air with my laopo

But the funny part is none of us know how to pump LOL

We didn't know that must press "flat tyre" before start pumping 

So it was weird that it keep letting the air in my tyre out instead of pumping it in

It was originally left 20, but then drop till 8

Then I was so panic xia, like wtffff

Luckily I didn't go alone haha

Laopo thought of going to ask the petrol station staff to help us

So paiseh la haha

Thank you Mr petrol station guy XD 

And I found my EQ is really really bad 

I get angry or annoyed really easily 

The worst part is, I can't even control myself

Especially when it comes to driving

Like just now there's this motor suddenly cut into my lane 

Like really really suddenly

I almost hit him, but luckily I didn't la

He still dare to horn me, and even glared at me

WTF you're the one who's cutting lane recklessly =.=

At that moment I actually feel like accelerating to hit him for real

And then after that, I really got annoyed by other drivers, like everyone of them, especially motorcycles are annoying to me

Then there's this Kenari cutting lane again

No signals no nothing

Just come out suddenly

I almost crashed it again

DUDE AFTER I HORN BARU PAKAI SIGNAL GENIUS

Anger control ahhh

I really drive very recklessly when I'm angry 

Almost put my laopo's life in danger too

Sorry ah laopo ><

Volcano alert