Failure

So I received my finals results for sem 1

Knew it during the Penang trip with pudding tho

2 D and 1 F

A F for chemistry

2 marks away from passing

Speechless

First time purely no cheating

First time studied early 

Paid attention in class

Only for once I was daydreaming

Can't help it cuz that day I was going to present for English

So I was dead nervous

Couldn't eat couldn't joke like I used to

So not me LOL

Tried so hard not to think about it during Penang trip 

I knew it would ruin my mood 

I scared I would cry in front of everyone 

I thought I've let it go

But actually I haven't 

Went to see Ms Edith today

And she said for accelerated class, if I failed one subject I must take additional semester 

And then I was so so so miserable

I don't wanna take additional sem alone

I hated to be alone

I scared to be on my own

I know I must learn to be more independent

But I just couldn't 

By the time I'm having my extra semester 

My friends would all be in monash already

And I'll be all alone in MUFY

I might be joining with July intakes

And everyone would be already having their own gang

I'm not good at being socializing 

I'm not good at approaching for new friends

I would miss my friends until I die 

It's not like I didn't pay attention in class

It's not like I didn't work hard

It's not like I didn't do revisions

Why?

It's still only two more marks

God damn this shit

Appealed for clerical check

Ms Edith told me to be mentally prepared that usually the outcome will still be a F

And that costed me RM50

Put money issue aside

It's only two more marks for god's sake

Please let me pass this shit

I don't wanna waste my parents' money for an extra sem

Why am I so useless?